Here’s The Skinny

I’m going to run after work today. Its part of my new, new, new workout plan.  You see, lifting heavy weights and eating a lot just made me fat.  I figure I’ve gained some new muscle and a little bit of definition but alas, it’s covered under a layer of blubber.  People laugh at the prospect of me doing this.  They say, “But you’re so skinny!”

I’m not skinny.

I’m tall, and I weigh 196 pounds (Oops, I mean 194.  I dropped 2 lbs this week.)   I’m also giving up on trying to become a BMMS (Big Massive Muscle Stud).  It’s too fucking hard.

I have been doing this for almost 18 months and I just don’t see enough happening.  Sure, I started slowly and had a few short periods of not working out with regularity but for the most part I’ve been making a solid effort without seeing good results.  In all honesty, I should have done this when I was twenty.

Oh now don’t get me wrong.  I’m still going to keep trying.  I’m just giving up on the grandiose expectations.  I really thought I’d build up fast—at least I was hoping I would.  I hate being lanky.  Can’t I just be hunky?  Maybe a little bit of both?  Lunky?

Anyway, I figure if I run, I’ll drop a few pounds and the little bit I’ve gained in muscle just might pop out.  My body has always been devoid of shape.  I never had Chest, Back and Shoulders…it was more like a trunk.  The circumference around my wrist never varied much away from the size of my upper arm.  My back has always seemed to slide right into my legs without the slightest consideration for having what the ladies in the office refer to as a “Beef Butt”.

I have no butt.

On the upside, my nipples no longer jiggle gleefully to and fro when I brush my teeth, my arms almost fill up my sleeves and some of my shirts are getting tight across the chest and shoulders.  I’m bigger, that’s for sure but there’s no “cleavage” in the chestal area.  The circumference in my upper arms is most certainly bigger than my wrists and if I stand a certain way and turn just a little bit…and cock my head to the left…there’s a slight hint of a butt.  It’s no beef butt.  It’s more like a veggie burger butt.  Perhaps running will firm that up…