Call In Gay?

Gay-rights activists are encouraging people to “Call In Gay” to work today to demonstrate how integral gay people are to American society.  I guess this idea is patterned after the 2006 “A Day Without a Mexican” work stoppage.

Yeah…I just don’t think I’m up for that.

Calling in gay is like calling in sick.  If that’s the case, I’d have to protest by Going On Disability because I’m gay 24/7.  My gayness (why does that have to rhyme with anus?) doesn’t happen on occasion.  It’s chronic, constant and at times debilitating—like when I’m watching Jon Hamm in Mad Men or scoping out hot stroller-pushing daddies in the supermarket (hey, I can at least look).

While I agree the passing of Proposition 8 is complete and utter bullshit, I don’t think Calling In Gay is going to be a very effective way to show America how important I am to society.  It just seems like if I worked with a person who disliked gays, they would be thrilled at the notion of me not being in the office for a day.  The idea just lends itself to ridicule.  Can you imagine how many punch-lines would come from a Call In NeoCon Republican day?

Oh sure, don’t show up!  That’ll show me.  Hey…I’m kinda liking NOT having you here in the office.  This is better than I thought.

I think instead of not showing up for something, we should show up for everything.  Most importantly, we should come out of the closet!  People who dislike gays are forced to reexamine their ideas when they find out their son, mother, grandfather, mailman, aunt, best friend, butcher, shoe salesman, chiropractor, contractor, favorite athlete, favorite actor, etc., is gay.

We can’t make a statement by showing the world what it would be like without gay people.  Be visible!  Come out!  You’ll be glad you did.