In Some Sort Of Somnia

4:15…at least I made it past the 2:00 AM point so I won’t be quite so tired all day.  Even though my boss reassures that he’s got my back, even though everything is going well, even though we hired a temp for the project, even though the company we bought our web CMS software is coming next week to assist in the server configuration…

I still can’t sleep.

Who can really?  Redoing the web site for my County is a huge task.  My mind is going a million miles an hour.  The most unfortunate part is the fact that I agreed to perform in this play which has its five shows the week of going live with the site.  My brain has no room for script memorization. 

I know in the long run, the web site will be a hit and I shouldn’t get too wound up, but at the core of my being is a person who wants to do his best and doing his best means fixating on all the little details and that means getting all nutted up over everything.  It’s so funny…actually, it’s not funny, its kind of fucked up that every night when I’m going to bed, I’m so tired I decide not to take a Valium because I know I’m going to sleep like a baby.  Then I wake up at 2:30.

Usually, a project like a web redesign for an organization with a thousand-plus employees requires a team of people–at least that’s how it was when I worked for an Internet consulting company.  There was a project manager, designer, front & back end developers, etc.  I am wearing many hats on this one.  I just wish I had a head for each one of them.  It’s not that I can’t handle it and even though I’m tired and cranky, I’m not complaining.  So far, everything is going right on schedule.  I’m just frazzled.

I have to train an employee from each department to use the software and they are responsible for transferring their own content from the old site.  Yesterday I held classes for sixteen people and today I have a class for eight.  I still have some stragglers to train but we’ll get there.  Since my deadline is a bit tight (who am I kidding, it’s insane), we all have to learn as we go and hope for the best.  I am fortunate to have people who are committed to doing a good job and I think my hyper-enthusiasm is infectious. 

Whenever I do get kind of stressed about the whole thing, I shut my eyes and fantasize about how awesome the final product is going to be.  It really does kick some major ass if I do say so myself.  Besides, our current site is so monumentally bad, anything is going to be a marked improvement. 

Uh oh…it’s time to wake up and get to work. 

(Eyes closed) “You can do this Cobban.  You are doing it.  It’s already done and it kicks ass.”

UNRELATED NOTE: I am completely humbled by the kind words, emails and donations to the Mule Mountain Relay For Life for my friend David and the other people I have lost to cancer.  ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYou!!