Category Archives: The Basics

Last night the fireplace was cracklin’ and the kitty was purring while Ray was clanking around in the kitchen.  The house started to smell really good and the red wind wine was going to my head as Vince Guaraldi’s piano playing tinkled quietly in the background.  There’s no better way to document this than a YouTube clip. . .

For the past fifteen years, Ray and I have attended events together for both of our families.  I cried at his father’s funeral, he laughed at my family reunion.  We have bought and sold property together and attended the same church in Chicago.  The two of us have volunteered for community organizations and collectively donated money to those in need.  We jointly pay our property tax and support local businesses by shopping for goods we use together.

His nieces and nephews refer to me as uncle.  My mom adores him because, according to her, she sees how happy he makes me–and that’s all a mother could want and more.

Ray convinced me to return to college at the tender age of thirty.  He sat with me at the dining room table while I pulled my hair out studying anything mathematical.  I got an A in algebra because of him.  Technically, I am a college graduate because of him (he begs to differ but there is no way I could have done it without his help).

I have brought him medicine and liquids when he was sick in bed.  He has put up with me forever being in the process of “finding myself” and buying a motorcycle.

Our love and admiration for each other is as real and valid as anyone else’s in this country.  The amount of time we have spent together has gradually fused us into ONE unit.

We are married dammit!!

While no one can ever take that truth away from us, we should be granted the exact same rights as any other married couple–and I want those rights to be retroactive.  in fifteen more years, I want to say that I’ve been married for thirty. 

It’s funny…the people who feel the need to protect the sanctity of marriage think that gays getting married is like the beginning of the end.  To me it’s the other way around.  Their recent victory is like my beginning of the end.  I’m tired of religion being part of my government.  Get the fuck out of my house!  If you’re going to protect the sanctity of marriage, go hunt down Liz Taylor!  She’s an out-of-control serial marryer!  And while you’re at it, outlaw divorce!  Yeah!  Go round up Julia Roberts and stick her in a house with Lyle Lovitt forever!!  Remember that freaky David Guest guy Liza hooked up with?  Yeah!  Protect that union!  David, Liza, I now pronounce you STUCK TOGETHER FOREVER!!!  HOW DARE YOU VIOLATE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE WITH YOUR DIVORCE!!  Mohohooahh Ha Ha HAAAAA! 

I put most (not all) religious people in the same category as Sarah Palin–they make me want to hate them.  The vile things done by the church “in the name of Christ” has gotten me to the point where I simply can’t put my faith in their words.  I can’t believe anymore because what I see are all lies and customizing the word of God to fit the ©New Christian agenda.  The bible says it’s wrong to be gay.  It also says that it’s wrong to practice birth control–or masturbate! 

Oh…I am soooo in trouble on that last one.

The bible outlines my relationship with Christ as if I were a lamb and Christ was the Shepard and I’m just supposed to follow him around and do whatever he says.  That is so not me.  I’m a thinker.  I wonder how things work.  I ask analytical questions.  I don’t want to be told how to be and what to do.  I used to just sit there quietly and turn the other cheek about my religious shortcomings apologizing for being gay.  Not anymore!  I’m tired of those lying freak-a-zoid motherfuckers and I will not be silenced!  My marriage is valid.  My partner and I matter to our community and we deserve the respect that we’re entitled to!!!

Got a little Mommy Dearest there, sorry.

The notion that in religion the mere act of thinking about doing something is just as sinful as actually doing it is the world’s biggest mindfuck ever.  Every single time I see an attractive man, before I can even consider my internal thoughts, we’ve already had sex and I’m laying there smoking a cigarette!  In my head of course (and I don’t really smoke cigarettes but it’s a good visual).  There’s no way to control thoughts of lust–they just happen and with me it’s like a perpetual tape loop. 

Sex sex sex sex sex food sex sex sex sex sleep sex sex sex sex martinis sex sex sex sex!

The idea that a passing lustful thought holds the same sinful weight as actually doing it is just warped to me.  It’s an automatic fail as far as sin goes.  You can’t possibly overcome that.  It’s a lose-lose situation.  It’s just a step away from abusive mind control. 

You can’t masturbate, so you don’t, but if you think of it (which you will) you’re sinning just as much as if you did do it.  That explains why the more nutty religious freaks are so uptight.

Perhaps, I should just jump every man I see!  Next time I see a hot guy at the airport, I’m going to create a distraction, shove him in a broom closet and have at it.  I mean, if I’m sinning for thinking it, I may as well do it right?  It’s not like there’s a double sin fee for acting out on the thought.   I’ll politely apologise afterwards of course.  “Sorry bud, take it as a compliment.”

I don’t have the guts to actually do that and I’d probably be beaten to death for even trying.

I don’t think that life is all just a happy accident.  My brain is far too feeble to comprehend what makes up the inner molecular world as well as outer space and beyond.  I can’t answer the “why” in why are we here but I do believe in someone (or something) as a higher power.  I just don’t think it’s a white male Republican (Ms. Palin thinks it’s her).  It’s just so sad that the church itself is exactly what’s driving me away from God (or their version of God).  Hey, if I’m going to burn in hell forever because I’m gay, at least all my friends will be there!

The photo above is from this week’s Economist, a reputable U.K. news periodical.  Even they’ve endorsed Obama.  The whole world is holding its collective breath over this election. 

My apologies to Republicans (like my entire family) but you’ve had the White House for eight years and well, ya just gotta give it up.  Game over.  Like the cover says “It’s time.”  Just accept the fact that George and his cronies basically fucked everything up over the last eight years and it’s going to take a lot of time and effort (as well as your children’s–and their children’s–tax dollars) to fix things up.  It’s time to let someone else give it a try, even if–in your opinion–he doesn’t have the experience. (Like George did right?  Or wait, no, like Sarah does.  She’s so mavericky.)  My suggestion; go back, regroup and by all means abort Sarah Palin from your party and flush what’s left of her down the toilet.  How can anyone with a brain like her?  (you may also want to rethink that whole extreme hardcore Christian lets-turn-the-clock-back-to-the-1950’s-right-wing thing while you’re at it.  It’s never going to happen and I believe that mindset is turning your own people away.  Way to fracture the Republican Party even more Sarah!)

*I Predict: Obama will become our next president.  California’s Prop 8 will fail miserably as well as 102 here in Arizona.  On the local government front, our county treasurer and superintendent of schools (I worked for both of them) will be removed and replaced by their opponents with fresh new ideas and a willingness to actually work.  The day after Obama wins, the global economy will bounce back. (Ray tells me that this will probably happen no matter who wins because the overall uncertainty will be eliminated).

There have been great leaders throughout America’s history.  People who got things done and restored America’s sense of well being.  Maybe, just maybe, Obama is one of those great leaders.  He’s a very bright fellow and represents the real American.  Divorced parents, mixed race, owns only one house and he admits that he inhaled!  The one thing Obama doesn’t represent is Joe Sixpack.  Thank God!  That whole thing with the Republicans pandering to the “everyday American” or the “real America” made me want to barf.  Fuck, fuck, fuck you for that.  Obama/Biden speaks of unity and everyone being involved in repairing our great country while McCain/Palin speaks of “us and them”.  I am an everyday American living in real America!  I’m also a homosexual who thinks women should be able to choose what they do with their body.  I think we should be teaching children that a penis going in and out of a vagina at a high rate of speed (or any rate of speed for that matter) is more than likely going to result in pregnancy and in order to keep a young gal from being a mom at 16, you need to be taught how to use birth control because abstinence only doesn’t work!  Just ask Ms. Palin’s daughter–oh but we’re supposed to respect her family and leave that issue alone.

The whole Republican campaign made me feel left out (and kinda hated) and that’s probably why they’re going down the tubes because they’ve successfully alienated most of the country as well as their own party.  Great work Sarah!  It’s almost like you’re the Democratic Trojan Horse.  You got right in there and messed everything up which worked miracles for us Democrats.  Wink, wink, you betcha!  He he he heee…..

Please dear God, or Gods, or Heads of Lettuce, or whatever you believe in – make Obama our next president and send Ms. Palin back to Alaska forever.

*If this doesn’t happen, Ray and I are going to take our little chunk of land and decree it Cobbanstan – a clothing optional country. 

Well, Ray and I went out for some fun this Halloween.  I would have blogged about it yesterday but due to the amount of “fun” from the night before, I had to stay in a horizontal position for most of the day. 

I just can’t do “fun” the way I used to.

Ray was a sexy referee (dressed entirely in a tight spandex outfit–woof) and I was a Spartan.  Surprisingly, it was not all that cold in Bisbee.  (I had a vodka fueled buzz going on so how could I be cold?)

I think I had a really good time.  To tell the truth…I can’t really remember.  There were lots of people out and the music was good.  Lots of dancing going on. 

Check out some of the photos from my Flickr account.

It’s Halloween and I’m scared. I’m scared about the upcoming election. I’m scared about budget cuts here at work and I’m a little freaked out about something else.

A few months ago during a routine skin cancer screening provided by my work, the doctor asked about the little blemish on the side of my nose. It had been there for about a year and I just assumed it was a little wart because it was a small flaky white bump. He thought it may be Actinic Keratoses, the earliest stage in the development of skin cancer. He suggested that I see a dermatologist and have it frozen off. *There are only two dermatologist in town and neither of them ware taking new patients. Fortunately, I remembered seeing one of them about three years ago so I was indeed an existing patient. They were able to examine me but I would have to wait two months. I finally got in last week. The doctor decided not to freeze it. Instead, he sliced the side of my nose off and sent it in for testing. Yesterday, the tests came back positive for Basal Cell Carcinoma. Even though they sliced a tiny sliver off my nose, I have to go in and have MOHS surgery. They basically use a microscope to detect the cancer cells and remove them.

Last night, I was laying in bed thinking. . .

How much cancer must one person have to have cancer? Does a few mutated cells count? What about the few times I picked at what I thought was a wart and it bled? Could I have dislodged a cancer cell? Is it floating around looking to latch on to a vital organ? What if the cancer bore deep into the side of my nose? Will they remove the side of my nose and disfigure my face? Why does this have to be on my face? Wasn’t years of teenage acne enough torture?

Chances are slim that anything is really wrong in a life threatening sort of way but after all the cancer I have dealt with over the past few years, I’m a little bit tense.

Outpatient surgery is scheduled for mid December up in Tucson. Let’s hear it for early detection.

*This is an open call to dermatologists. The Sierra Vista, AZ area needs another dermatology practice. It’s scarier than shit being told that you may have a precancerous thing on your face and have to wait four months to have it removed.