Author Archives: Robert

Nine years ago, I bought the top of the line Apple Macintosh.  I was going to school for design and everyone used Macs so I figured I had to get the best one on the market.  I assumed it would last a long time since I was buying the Grand Poo-bah of computers.

CPU…………..$6000.00
Monitor……..$2000.00
Video Card…..$900.00
Audio Card…..$700.00

Total………….$9600.00

Add all the sound, video, image editing software and, as a college student, I’d spent well over 10K. 

10-fucking-K!! 

The Mac drove my entire multimedia workstation.  It was configured to work with my music and video editing hardware–which costs a bundle as well.  A short time after that, Apple unveiled its new operating system, OS10.  Soon they changed all the plugs on the newer models.  Eventually (after 6 years) my Mac crapped out on me.  I looked into getting a new one but they had changed everything so my other hardware would no longer plug into my computer.  The OS was totally different too so my current software would no longer function on it so I’d have to upgrade all that too.  If I bought a new Mac, I’d have to buy a new music studio.  I just didn’t have another 10 grand to spend so I ended up buying the same old used Mac on eBay for $83.00.

Eighty…three…dollars…

I was infuriated by Apple.  I thought they were supposed to be the cool people.  The antithesis of Microsoft.  I vowed never to buy another Apple product again.  Then the iPhone came out. 

Apple makes a good product–in China.  They are great at interface design.  Microsoft finally ripped off the apple look and feel horribly–it’s called Vista.  I decided to mend my rift between Apple and myself.

After waiting a really long time and making sure that I could afford it, I finally bought the 16-gigabyte iPhone.  After all the tax and fees, it was over $550.00.  That’s a lot of money for me to spend but I figured it was well worth it.

Today Steve Jobs and Apple announced the new better faster 16-gigabyte version will cost $299.

Fuck you Apple and fuck you too Steve Jobs.

Fuck, fuck you.

Went on a 120 mile bike ride today.  I’ve only had the thing for a little over a week and it’s already got about 500 miles on it. 

I love my bike and I promise not to have a photo of me on it every other post.  Maybe every third post? 

 After a long ride, two hard workouts, lots of sun and sangria…I am wiped out.  So much going on in such a short period.  I just love this time of year.  The days are long, the pool is warm and it’s not quite buggy yet.  Monsoon is still a few weeks away (that’s when the bugs come).  Thank goodness for my neti pot.  I have managed to keep my sinuses in check this season.  Usually, with all the dust, I’m fighting off a sinus infection–until monsoon.  Then all the dust gets matted down and the air gets some moisture in it. 

So while I was riding and thinking of my workout program, I decided that I…uh…think I’m finally going to get…

a tattoo!

I’ve put it off for years.  Just never felt worthy of tattoo-dom.  Until now.  I don’t know what did it.  The bike?  The results from working out?  My mid-life crisis?  All of the above?

I’m not getting any younger.  The shelf life of attractiveness for a gay man is very short so I’m making a valiant effort to work on my D.I.T.  (daddy in training) status.  Daddy types are hot.  Actually, any stubble-faced tattooed in shape motorcycle-riding man over 40 is hot to me.  Think Sam Elliott:

 
OK, so this is an old photo of Sam. 

Not so old photo…

OK, recent photo but he still looks hot to me.

I want to age like Sam.  He’s my role model–my template.  I think I could pull it off if I start speaking with a deep voice, marry Katharine Ross and wake up from my daydream that Sam and I could possibly be in the same category…but I digress.

I definitely don’t want an off the shelf tattoo.  I have something in mind that I’m going to design and then ask my friend Sally to illustrate.  If it comes out the way I envision, it’ll be really cool–especially if she does it. 

On the other hand, I may change my mind tomorrow.  I still have a long way to go before I get a permanent marking on my arms. 

Oh my God!  I’m so tired.  Enough of this self absorbed petty bullshit.  Off to bed for me.

G’night Sam…I’m such a dork. 

• The stock market plummeted today
• Oil prices skyrocketed
• Unemployment is at an all-time high
• The dollar is becoming worthless
• We’re at war
• There are over a million homes in foreclosure
• Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…

After Ted Kennedy was diagnosed with a brain tumor, Barack Obama said: 

“I insist on being optimistic about how it is going to turn out.”

I insist on being optimistic.  Not I am or will be.  Insist!  Optimism doesn’t just happen.  You have to make it happen and Obama subtly exemplifies that in his words. 

Now that’s leadership.  I want that guy to run the country.

I insist on being optimistic that our country can pull its head out of the sand and get back on track.  No matter how bad it gets, I’m going to insist that I appreciate the beautiful Arizona sunsets and be thankful for what I have every fucking day.  Forget about what you don’t have and appreciate what you do (he says after finally getting an iPhone). 

Remember the 60’s?  A lot of people are comparing 2008 to 1968.  There is only one thing different.  Nobody is speaking out.  Where are the protest songs?  Where are the chants?  Hell No We Won’t Go!  All You Need Is Love!  Give Peace A Chance!

Paging Joni Mitchel!!  Lennon!  Mr. John Lennon, please pick up the white courtesy telephone.  Your party is trying to reach you.

Oh yeah, he’s dead.  Some asshole murdered him. 

We’re in control of our own destiny.  Let’s insist on changing the world!  Let’s insist on making this a better place for everyone.  Let’s stop reaching for something outside of ourselves and start looking within.  That’s where all the good stuff is. 

I did it.  I finally did it.  Someone–out of nowhere–found out that I was interested in selling my Suzuki Katana and bought it on the spot.  Got enough money for a down-payment on a new bike.  I decided to go with a Honda because I wanted something affordable and reliable for my first official big-boy-all-growed-up motorcycle. 

Ray and I drove out to the big Honda motorcycle dealership near Tucson.  I took my riding classes there and figured they were all official and corporate and would take care of me.  I was wrong. 

After finally wrangling a salesman, I knew we were in trouble when he told us his name was Lumpy.  He handed me his card.

“Lumpy Lumpkin”

I shit you not.  Lumpy-fucking-Lumpkin.  I was interested in the Shadow Aero but Lumpy wasn’t making the deal I wanted so I started looking at the Shadow Spirit.  It’s a small step down from the Aero.  I was sitting on the Spirit basically telling Lumpy that I wanted the bike.  He started mumbling about being short staffed and the finance people were busy or something.  Basically, he wouldn’t sell me the bike.  I was flabbergasted.  Bitch slapped as it were. 

On the way back home, I decided to go to Cochise Motorsports here in Sierra Vista where I bought my chaps, jacket and helmet.  They had excellent customer service.  Shamefully, I didn’t go there first because they weren’t a big chain.  My bad. 

I called them and spoke to Stephen.  He had an 07 Honda Shadow Aero and he offered me a great deal over the phone.  I figured it had been there sitting on the showroom floor collecting dust.  It probably had a few miles on it too.  I was wrong.  This is what it looked like:

It was still in the crate!  A 2007 Titanium Shadow Aero VT750C!!  Now this is not a big old fancy schmansy bike.  It’s kind of on the lower end…but it’s all I could afford. I really liked its hint of classic styling.  I originally wanted the red and white one but Ray suggested that the Titanium was more handsome.  He was right.  It sparkles in the sun.

We did all the paperwork while the shop guys assembled my bike.  It sounds so nice saying that.  My. Bike. 

I guess the coolest thing was walking out and seeing the bike all shiny and put together just waiting for me.  I’m its daddy.  No one has ever touched it before me (and the guys that put it together). 

It rode like a dream.  Purred like a kitten.  A big kitten.  I’m not sure what to name it.  I’m sure I’ll come up with something clever. 

I bought it Wednesday evening and I already have 85 miles on it.  Ray said that he may be interested in learning how to ride.  That would be awesome.  This is one of the best areas to ride a bike.  Lots of open road and it’s warm.  I have a feeling I’ll be riding more now with this bike than I did with my old crotch rocket.  Man, that thing was a bitch to maneuver. 

Lesson learned; When you don’t get what you want, when you want it, there’s something better around the corner.  If you don’t see it right away, keep looking.  The universe has been very good to me and I am very, very grateful. 

Me and my Shadow on the road to my house. 
Who could ask for anything more?

Our friend Kevin makes bird houses out of old license plates.  When I got my motorcycle, I had the old smaller plate from the previous owner.  Kevin made me a little tiny bird house which I hung on the tree outside of our back yard. 

All last spring, I witched young bird couples shop around for a place to live.  The only problem with the tiny birdhouse was that the hole was too small.  Last year at the end of the summer, some wasps chewed away at the opening of the little bird house opening up the hole a bit.  The other day, I was in the yard and heard this bird happily singing away.  I finally realized that the sound was coming from the little house.  I guess we have a tenant this year. 

She just loves her new place and we love having her.  It’s a joy to sit out there and listen to her chirping away.  She seemed a bit apprehensive about us being in the back yard at first but we have all grown used to each other. 

Kevin built me another house out of a regular sized plate that I had from our other car.  There’s a for rent sign on it so pass the word if you know a cool bird.

After raising three children while working full time at the tender age of 51 (sorry to tell your age sis but it makes the story more effective), my oldest sister Betty graduated from law school.  There is no possible way I could have accomplished what she did.  I am very, very proud of her. 

My father–who could not attend–is proud too.  Finally, all six of his children are college graduates.  Dad used to say,

 “I’m not going to force you to go to college because I know you’re going anyway.”

Betty and I were the late bloomers.  I was 33 when I graduated and she is 51.  It guess it was worth the wait.  Ray and I headed out to LA to attend the ceremony.  It was great to see my family and catch up with Betty’s friends that I have not seen for years.

(L to R) Ma in law Pat, niece Nichole, Betty’s kids: Ben, Sarah, Dan

Betty and friend

Moments away from grabbing the brass ring

It’s like being crowned

Congrats Betty!

Betty and our mother

The ubiquitous one-armed MySpace/Blog pic (brother John in the background)

All who attended on Betty’s behalf

The funny thing (to me) about the ubiquitous one-armed MySpace/Blog pic is that you can kind of see how my sister and I get along.  It’s impossible to chat with her without laughing.  We both have a warped sense of humor. 

Now all she has to do is pass the bar. . .