Author Archives: Robert

Ray and I got home from my reunion last Sunday. During the ten hour drive, I had time to ponder the weekend’s events. I assume most reunions have people sitting around talking about the winning touchdown at the big game, making the cheerleading squad (or doing the cheerleading squad) and that one time you went to detention for ditching class. We all sat around talking about that time we swallowed a handful of black beauties, smoked a dime bag and stole someone’s car to go into Hollywood for the night.

I don’t want to go back to those times. I lived in fear everyone would all find out that I was gay (yeah, I know, they all knew) and I’d get my ass kicked. Getting your ass kicked in school is a scary reality for everyone who’s ever been in high school except at my school, it meant an ass kicking from someone with an existing criminal record who was really bad—like fucked up psychologically bad.  What the hell was I doing at that school?

I left the reunion abruptly.

You can’t change where you’re from but you can sure change where you’re going.

We’re off to Lost Angeles today.  Going back for my high school reunion.  It should be interesting to say the least.  I was permanently expelled from high school about three months into 9th grade.  They sent me to a “continuation” school.  A place for burned out kids to keep them off the street until they’re 18.  At the end of 12th grade, I didn’t have enough credit to graduate so I took the GED and got out. 

Since my school was so small, our reunion is covering a decade.  1980 to 1990.  I’m going to have to take a quick trip down memory lane via my yearbooks to freshen my memory.  I was stoned the entire time.  I don’t remember anyone really. 

The cool thing is that Mike, one of my best friends in high school, recently found me (through the reunion committee) and just happens to stop in Sierra Vista for work on occasion.  He came over earlier this week for a cocktail.  I had not seen him in over 20 years.  He looked great–actually better-than-I-remember great (sorry to put you on the spot Mike but hunky nice guys in sleeveless shirts with tattooed arms get me every time…) 

It was great catching up with Mike and he’s going to be at the reunion so I’ll at least have someone to cling on to at first.  I get overwhelmed by a large group of people (until the 2nd martini).

The really sad thing was hearing that two of the other gay kids I went to school with are dead.  AIDS–see my last post.

Aside from the reunion, Ray and I are going to see our mothers and some old friends.  As usual with my trips to LA, I’m looking forward to getting back on Sunday and laying out by the pool. 

The key thing is that I’m tan and have been working out like a madman so, dare I say it, I’m going to look hot.  Isn’t that what high school reunions are all about?  Going back and showing everyone that you’ve made it?  I’m going to stand in the middle of the room, do my best Mary Tyler-Moore twirl while throwing my hat in the air and sing, “You’re gonna make it after all…”

OK, maybe not…

I’m going to go back, satisfy my curiosity and then get the hell out of there.

From today’s New York Times online:

“More than one-third — 36 percent — of New York City men who have sex with other men and have had five or more sex partners within the past year do not consistently use condoms.”

 What the hell?  Doesn’t anyone remember watching our friends shrivel up and die?  AIDS is still here.  Not to mention all the other scary things like sexually transmitted MRSA.  That shit’ll make your dick fall off.  What are people thinking?  Is anyone thinking anymore?

It’s perplexing to see guys online with profiles talking about how they’re “POZ and healthy” and into raw unprotected bare backing sex.  Am I the only one who does a double-take here?  How could you willingly do your business inside of someone knowing full well that you have a deadly communicable disease–and that you’re giving it to them?  How could you enjoy yourself?  On the other hand, how could you be the condomless recipient and let someone leave you with a lot more than a couple of martinis and a good screw? 

My very good friend Tony died a miserable death from AIDS complications.  We don’t know what he died of because he had so many things all at once recking havoc over his body–inside and out.  It was horrifying to see a hot, healthy 31 year old man transform into what appeared to be an 90 year old mouse.   He literally shriveled up and everything that his immune system was keeping at bay slowly ate him alive.  After seeing that (for TWO years), I’m scared shitless of HIV-AIDS and try to avoid it as much as possible.

HIV is not like a disease you can live with with medication.  The medication gives you the shits, makes your belly pop out and you face cave in.  And it’s expensive!  

It’s OK to be “POZ and healthy”.  It’s OK to be a slutty slut.  Have at it, but for Pete’s sake–use the condom. 

We had a solar pool heating system installed.  The pool people came and built this low profile rack on the ground next to the house.  They connected these long panels vertically side by side to it.  Each panel consisted of several long black tubes about the width of a soda straw.  The water just trickles through them and then makes its way back to the pool.  We now get instant heat.  From the sun!  For free!

I was amazed at how well it worked.  Of course monsoon is just around the corner.  The air is getting heavy and the clouds are puffing way up high in the sky.  When you’re in the pool, it’s hard to gage just how and when to dodge the random lighting storms going on around you.  Heated or not, there not much swimming in the rain.  It’s kinda scary. 

I do love monsoon.  The scent of wet desert with crackling thunder in the distance.  Everything gets all green and the big sky becomes littered with billowing clouds.  When the sun goes down, you can see the moon, the milky way and every shooting star in the sky.  It’s very humbling. 

The summer solstice has come and gone.  This is the zenith of my favorite time of year.  It’s hot–totally hot and…I have to go sweep the pool so Ray can dismantle the filter and clean it.  Yes folks, we’re the pool boys. 

It was about 100 degrees yesterday afternoon. When we got home from work, Ray shook up some Cosmopolitans and I hopped in the pool.

Bisbee Pride has come and gone for another year. The play was well received but I’m glad it’s over. I’m also glad the Relay For Life is over as well. I am so relieved that I no longer have mid-week meetings and rehearsals. Now I can enjoy the rest of the summer. It’s supposed to be in the triple digits for the next week. Soon the rains will come and it will cool down a bit. The only bummer is that motorcycle riding and swimming are subject to massive thunderstorms so I’m trying to get as much of that in as I can.

I have been really bummed since my digital SLR crapped out on me. This is the time of year when I like to photograph lightning storms and meteor showers. Kinda hard to do that with a teeny tiny point and shoot. After spending a bundle on the bike, I just can’t justify more money on a new camera outfit.

I have a wish. I’m going to make my wish right now. I read The Secret! Yeah, it’s a silly little book but the overall idea of positive thinking and asking the Universe for things is something I believe in…so here goes.

I would like to not have to work. There, I said it—go ahead and laugh. It’s my wish and I’ll be damned to deny myself the satisfaction of daydreaming how cool it would be to somehow have enough money to live comfortably off the interest. No need to be wealthy, I just want to be able to purchase high-end video and still camera equipment so that I can write music all day and create cool little movies and submit them to small film festivals. Our friend Terry likes to watch Current on TV. (You make the news they put it on television.) Every time it’s on, Terry turns to me and says, “You could do this.”

I could totally do it.

The only problem is having to go be a webmaster all week.  Sorta gets in the way. 

I have the recording equipment and software for audio/video editing.  I just need this:

Canon XL H1S HD camcorder

…and this too:

Nikon D200 (Shoots Timelapse)

Who knows what the future has in store for me?  Maybe I’ll win the lotto or…or…I don’t know.  Many people dream big and somehow make it happen.  Even if it doesn’t happen, it’s fun to daydream about it. . .

Lights.  Camera.  Action!

Bisbee Pride is this weekend.  Our local paper has been giving it some positive press coverage.  Since it’s online, people can comment on the articles.  As one might imagine, there are several comments about how “the gays” are so immoral and it’s disgusting for our children to see men dressed up in women’s clothing.

Milton Berle was disgusting?

Actually, Milty was pretty ugly in drag but I digress. 

Reading the comments made me angry.  It’s amazing to find out what people really think.  It’s also amazing how candid a person is with their opinion when the can be anonymous.  For some reason, it annoyed me all day.  Then, I woke up this morning to find a snarky comment in my moderation queue (it’s on my last post).  I approved it because I believe people should be entitled to express their own opinion (and because it wasn’t completly hateful).  I also wanted to make a point:

If you don’t like what you’re reading online, click something else.
If you don’t like what’s on television, change the channel.
If you don’t like Anne Coulter…well, nobody likes her.

<<Engage Patriotic Mode>>  This is a great country.  Why?  Because we have the freedom to say what we want.  We also have the freedom to focus our attention elsewhere if we don’t like what we’re hearing.  I loathe Anne Coulter because she’s a vile hateful cunt–had to go there with the “C” word with Ms. Cunter–Coulter.  At the same time, I applaud Anne.  She’s the embodiment of the American Dream.  She’s actually found a way to make millions by being such a cunt.  Good for her!  When she starts in with her verbal diarrhea, I turn her off.  Ahhh, no more Anne.  It’s that simple. 

I do love this country.  I just hate the double standard.  Freedom and justice for all–as long as you’re one of us and Christian. 

Jesus loves me this I know
If you’re white and hetero…

The double standard has turned me into a people-separatist.  There’s a reason I left crowded noisy urban Chicago to live on 16 acres in rural Arizona.  I didn’t like things so I changed them.  Am I a whiny crybaby?  It depends on what day it is.  That being said, I reserve the right to be whatever I want to be and if you don’t like it, click here.