The Wagon

Someone asked today if I was still on the wagon.  I was mildly taken aback.  It wasn’t necessarily what they said; it was the sudden realization that I’ve not had an adult beverage for a week. 

When I smoked, which was off and on for over 20 years, I could quit justlikethat.  I could go out drinking, buy a pack of cigarettes, smoke them all night and toss out the leftover ones the next morning.  It drove my cigarette smoking friends crazy.  

That’s just how I am. 

During the first couple of nights without cocktail hour it was hard to sleep, then the whole thought of cocktails just disappeared from my attention span. 

I had an O’Doul’s at the conference on Thursday.  It was an unusual experience.  After drinking two thirds of my beverage, I got this phantom sensation of beer-buzzedom.  I was getting kinda loopy until it dawned on me that there was no buzz going on; it was a just feeling based entirely on anticipation. 

It seems awkward to say on the wagon or dry.   The decision to stop drinking was more from a health and mental focus standpoint.  Yes, I drank every day–probably definitely too much, but it was reserved for cocktail hour after work.  There was no drinking during the day or to the point of excess at night.  I can’t function if I drink that much.  I know because I’ve tried many times.

Yes–I’m still on the wagon and can totally tell I’ve not had a drink for a week.  I’m so friggin’ sober I don’t know what to do with myself.  I swear to god, the wrinkles are starting to resurface on my brain.  At least I’m sleeping soundly through the night. 

This part of my challenge is not so hard.  The real benefit is the lack of caloric intake–not only from cutting out alcohol but from being coherent enough to avoid going back for seconds at dinnertime.  The big hurdle is the fitness routine that–like a total idiot–I promised myself.  I’m going to need all the help I can get on that one.  It sure is great to have Ray with me through all this.  Unfortunately, he left for Chicago while I was at the conference in Philly and we’ve not seen each other for several days.  (He tends to keep me on track when it comes to routines.)

Yeah, I quit things with ease.  Starting things…now that’s a different story.

I miss my Ray…